Experts Predict Global Shortage, the Last Days of Mankind.....

New York- Scientific experts from across the globe met today at the United Nations to reveal the concerning findings of a decade long study looking into the availability in the years to come, and the results are worse than feared.

The weakest among us, shown here enjoying a yearly birth ritual before the days of the global shortage, will be the first to face the acid mines. Many will beg for the sweet release of death and end up condensed into protein gruel for the masters.

"This isn't an outcome likely to happen just in some areas of the world," lead researcher Pat Wattam explained. "We've run every possible scenario, crunched the numbers in every way possible. Pretty soon there just isn't going to be any left, anywhere."

In reaction to the report, many people are beginning to stockpile in preparation for shortages and rationing. Some, like survivalist Jeremy "Mountain Goat" Watkins, predict that this will be the first step on the path to the eventual extinction of our species. "I've seen it before. First it's annoying to not have any. Then the frustration sets in. Then anger. Finally, the realization that there's never going to be any more. That's when the first bombs start to fall. That's where we make our final stand."